Monthly Medicine | September is Underlining Your Fears

Most episodes of Are You Afraid of the Dark?, frogs and toads, the movie Scream (which I watched with my family followed by episodes of I Love Lucy so I could fall asleep), and my mother not making it home from her nights shifts safely – as a child growing up in Wisconsin, these are the things that kept me awake at night.

While taking a walk earlier this evening, I recalled how these childhood fears faded away and were replaced with nastier and more debilitating varieties. When I was a teenager, I was fearful of older men honking and cat-calling at me on the street, which resulted in a type of inner body shaming that kept me from wearing shorts for 10 years. I began to fear for the well-being of our planet, thinking of overpopulation constantly. I began to doubt myself and my abilities more harshly, becoming increasingly familiar with the term “Impostor Syndrome”. I concluded that instead of letting go and growing into myself, throughout the years I’ve been treating my fears like annoying wasps, letting them fly near my face and do whatever they wanted, all in an effort to keep the peace and not get stung. If you couldn’t already tell, September is all about acknowledging your fears, and by golly have we all got some damn work to do.

What do you currently fear? What personal fears do you hold? What fears do you hold as a citizen of this planet? What’s the one fear you consider so embarrassing that you’d never want to be trapped in a tight space with it Fear Factor-style? With this month’s lingering presence of The Moon reversed, its medicine is asking you to examine all of these fears, while at the same time swimming among them for a bit longer. If you’re not feeling particularly fearful, or fear’s grip on you is loose instead of balled-up tight, be aware of the other negative impacts of this card: paranoia, nightmares, feeling out of your body and mind, emotional or mental breakdowns, you name it. Where might you be feeling just like ocean tides under the influence of the Moon? Again, I have to ask because it really is so important, when you really sit tight and evaluate, what fears have you been carrying around year to year, major life event to the next, that are prohibiting you from striking gold?

Paired with the fear-dabbling of The Moon reversed, The Hanged Man reversed has us tip-toeing back into the comfort of our shells this month. Recall all the fears you listed above and don’t be shy! While some of your answers might be laughable (like mine of most amphibians), there are those that subconsciously keep one bound and chained to a life that’s not as expressive, fulfilled, exploratory, or downright fun! See, The Hanged Man reversed is suggesting to us that instead of living our truth, no holds barred, we’re reserved, possibly not speaking up so as not to rock the boat, and not stretching ourselves out on a limb because of fear of the unknown, failure, rejection, the whole gamut. Essentially, it’s conformity and sticking with what’s familiar to you because anything outside of the norm is frightening. It’s staying in a job that takes advantage of your gifts because you’re afraid of having to go through the whole tedious application process all over again. It’s not pursuing your side gig because you’re comparing yourself to everyone else and believing you don’t stack up. It’s not wearing the bold outfit you just bought and love (like the figure on this card) due to it being the season of nautical stripes and only bringing it out for a party, Pride, or Halloween. On a more serious note, it can be on the same playing field as staying in the closet. Where is this resonating in your life? What would you apply or strive for if you knew you’d be successful on the first crack? What college, Peace Corps position, job, etc. would you have applied for if you wouldn’t have feared leaving the safety net of a partner and/or your family?

You might be asking, how is one to get themselves out of these debilitating mindsets and belief systems? From the Vessel Oracle Deck, the advice we’re getting is to REST! Slow our roll. Take it easy. Allow ourselves to have those moments to dream with no barriers and get to all of the difficult life-changing work after. You could do the outrageous talk show stunt (memories of Maury are popping up) of surprisingly exposing yourself to your fears, but that’s not the case here. While we should and need to thoroughly evaluate our fears, their origins, and how they’ve influenced our lives, we also need to note that it’s nothing to beat ourselves up over. The thing with fear is we all are all under its spell from time to time, even those of us that appear to have our shit together. If all you do this month is underline those fears with a red pen and make it known you’re aware of exactly what they’ve been up to, then you’re doing wonderfully. From there, you can take the leap into finally signing up for that recreational dance class, taking a solo vacation, dumping that bozo you’ve been dating for too long, or applying for that job you’ve always felt under-qualified for (but know you’d be insanely skilled at)!

You got this.